I recently read a blog in which a man shared how to treat your wife. It’s gone viral. The interesting thing? He is divorced. Several days later I read a blog by a woman in response on how to treat your husband. The interesting thing? The woman is on her third marriage.
I believe we can learn plenty from our mistakes, but why is it we get our advice from people who can’t seem to stay in a relationship instead of asking a couple who is about ready to celebrate their 35th, or better yet, 55th wedding anniversary? Any Christ-follower knows that we grow through down times, sad times, rebellious times, if we only let God teach us. But the sad thing is this—why do we not seek out and listen to those who did it right the first time?
Do you want a truly great marriage? If so, stop asking advice from those who are in stagnant, unfulfilling relationships or those who claim to have the answer now that they’ve failed. Instead, find a couple who has the kind of marriage you’d like to have…then ask them how to have a great marriage. They’re usually not the ones who say a lot about it, because they’re not complaining about their wife. They’re not telling you about what a bum their husband is. Instead, you notice them holding hands at church. You see him leave work a little early so he can get home and help her with the kids. They may be quietly sitting over coffee reading the paper or surrounded by their grandkids at the park.
All marriages have their ups and downs; if someone says they don’t, they are either lying or oblivious! But successful couples learn how to work through issues and come out stronger and better on the other side. That’s what we need to hear! We need to ask those who have successfully maneuvered through this thing called marriage, raised children, worked a job, had illnesses, had disagreements and fights, and are still living “happily ever after.” That’s who I want to talk to, ask questions of, get answers from, see modeled before me. Why do we always seek out those who failed and now say they have the answer?
There is a generation of couples who were highly successful. They’re celebrating their 60th anniversaries, not their 6 month-iversary and we need to glean all the wisdom we can from them before it’s too late!
We will be sharing golden nuggets from couples who have been married 30 years or more on our Facebook page over the next few months. Watch for it!