My neighbor is having his front entry
repaired. Old houses need attention and
restoration on a regular basis. As the
workers were laying brick I couldn’t help but watch them rebuild the arch. You have to know what you are doing to set
the keystone. It is absolutely the most
important stone in an arch; it is the crown that locks the other pieces in
place. Without it, the arch will
collapse. As I watched the craftsmen I
thought about the hundreds of churches we have worked with and realized
marriage is the keystone for the local church.
With
marriages in the church falling apart at an alarming rate, the church is losing
its voice. Not only are we losing our
voice, we are also not being seen. The
welcoming arch that displays to the community all the wonderful ministries
churches work so hard to develop is slipping and our voice and visibility is
lost.
My
neighbor had not inspected his front archway into his house for a while;
fortunately, he caught it just in time. Just
like my neighbor, I believe the local church has forgotten to take a look at
what is happening to the marriages for which they are responsible. If we don’t address the issues, the whole
thing will continue to crack and eventually will be gone.
We
see this demonstrated in the fact that the fastest growing divorce rate is in
those who have been married 15 to 25 years.
It does not take a very intensive search to discover the cause. Life gets busy and so we put our priorities
in other places like raising children, pursuing a career, and trying to have a
social life. Not to mention a culture
that says you have to have more and you have to have exactly what you want in
order to be happy. Whatever the reason, according to a study I recently examined we are
seeing a travesty take place in our country. It is proven in study after study that pre-marital
coaching is a proven help to the first years of marriage. Many churches are taking steps to do a better
job of helping couples prepare for marriage, which is good! My question is this: Have we taken our eye off the keystone, and is
it slipping in other areas, like the marriages of 15-25 years? Studies show that by the time couples are
married 15-25 years those who are still married have the same divorce rate
whether or not they had pre-marital training.
These couples slip out the side door and we lose them. The problem is that we get so involved with
all the other bricks of ministry that we are forgetting to keep an eye on the
keystone (marriage).
I
read a provocative article this past week entitled: “Mum’s the Word on Divorce” by Eric Metaxas. Metaxas allows the thought to arise that as
we are silent on divorce we are also silent regarding marriage in general. Listen to this quote out of the article by
Albert Mohler, “The evangelicals allowed culture to trump Scripture….that
divorce is no big deal…it is a private matter.”
He goes on to say that the “real scandal” is the fact that “evangelical
Protestants divorce at rates at least as high as the rest of of the public”
which creates a “significant credibility crisis when evangelicals then rise to
speak in defense of marriage.”
If
marriage is the keystone for the church, are we making sure the marriages in
our churches are healthy, from pre-married to golden anniversaries?
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